Happy upcoming birthday to ME!!

Since I have a birthday coming up in a couple of days, one of my buddies at work thought it might be funny to forward this to me. It's a good thing I will not be returning to work for a week and a half--I will have time to think of an appropriate punishment for my 6th hand. Because #20 does NOT apply to me.

THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 40 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run-anywhere (Good thing, too :-)) ) 4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?" 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M. 9. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. 11. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. 12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge ( Nah, I *still* think of them as "suggestions") 13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. 14. You sing along with elevator music. 15. Your eyes won't get much worse. 16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. ( ain't THIS the truth?!) 18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. 20. You can't remember who sent you this list.