Growing Old Disgracefully

Cataloging my ruination

Published on January 1 2006

Midlife Assessment - Cataloging my ruination. By Jonathan Ames I'm 41 years old, and I'm absolutely falling apart. I'll start from the top and work my way down, cataloging, as it were, my disintegration. And after reading this guy's "catalog", I feel...

JS Online: SMASHING SUCCESS Of course, Favre is entrenched in the Green Bay annals with numerous records. His top target was Antonio Freeman, who has caught more touchdown passes from Favre - 57 - than anyone else. Freeman said those numbers don't nearly...

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In with the New........

Published on December 31 2005

Now let us welcome the New Year, Full of things that have never been. -Rainer Maria Rilke

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Out with the Old........

Published on December 31 2005

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And auld lang syne? For auld lang syne, my dear, For auld lang syne, We'll tak a cup of kindness yet, For auld lang syne! And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,...

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Ponder these things

Published on December 31 2005

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what? All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle. They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them. Teach...

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How I will spend my New Years' Eve

Published on December 31 2005

You've Got Mail is going to be on TNT. Think maybe I might actually get to see the WHOLE movie? //puts channel changer under the sofa cushion//

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How to be a "victim"

Published on December 30 2005

The badge of victimhood must be "earned" (ha ha, just kidding!) by one of two methods: (1) Membership in a special "victim" class; or (2) having something bad actually happen to you. Method 1 is definitely is superior in every way since it eliminates...

Teenage Adventure BAGHDAD (Reuters) - An American teenager ran away to Baghdad over Christmas and survived probably the most dangerous destination in the world before being packed off home by the U.S. military, U.S. officials said on Friday. Farris (Bueller?)...

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News of the Day

Published on December 29 2005

Men want facts, women seek relations on Web SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Internet users share many common interests, but men are heavier consumers of news, stocks, sports and pornography while more women look for health and religious guidance, a broad survey...

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paycheck survey

Published on December 28 2005

Survey says baby boomers lag seniors in direct deposit usage - Dec. 27, 2005 NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) - Unlike today's seniors, the next generation of retirees is old-fashioned about direct deposit of paychecks and other payouts -- according to a survey...