OFFICE WISDOM

Published on March 18 2006

I've found, over the years, that most of these apply to paper-making as well as paper-pushing. Go figure.
    --It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do. --After any pay raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before. --The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. --You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. --Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. --When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves. --If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. --There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office. --Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back. --Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour. --To err is human, to forgive is not our policy. --Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he / she is supposed to be doing. --If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it. --You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your booth. --People who go to conferences are the ones who really shouldn't. --If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. --At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of tools that person is carrying. --When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried. --Following the rules will not get the job done. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules. --When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?" --No matter how much you do, you never do enough. --The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong. --Never leave a meeting to use the bathroom. You will be elected as an officer in your absence.

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Published on #Pics and Babbling

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