Sunday 'sconsin funnies

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 38 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Wisconsin. If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Park Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Wisconsin. If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy," you might live in Wisconsin. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Wisconsin. If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin. If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Wisconsin. If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Wisconsin. If you have either a pet or a child named "Brett," you might live in Wisconsin. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Wisconsin. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Wisconsin. If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Menomonie & Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin. If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Wisconsin. If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "From the land of sky-blue waters,....you might live in Wisconsin.