Humorous State Mottos, (or what they should be)
Published on September 3 2005
1. Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity
2. Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
3. Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
4. Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
5. California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
6. Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
7. Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet
8. Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
9. Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
10. Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism
11. Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
12. Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes...Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
13. Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
14. Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
15. Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
16. Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
17. Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
18. Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
19. Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
20. Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
21. Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
22. Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
23. Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
24. Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
25. Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
26. Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, And Very Little Else
27. Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
28. Nevada: Hookers and Poker!
29. New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
30. New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
31. New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets
32. New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney...
33. North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
34. North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
35. Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
36. Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
37. Oregon: Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner
38. Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
39. Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
40. South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
41. South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
42. Tennessee: You Need Our Help Where
43. Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)
44. Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
45. Vermont: Yep
46. Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
47. Washington: What Rain?
48. Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
49. West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!
50. Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
51. Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared!
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