Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day?

My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat. Sorry!

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Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

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Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"

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I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.

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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you. ---------------------------------------

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

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Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.

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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

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When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

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We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?

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I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.

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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

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Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.