Five Things

Published on December 31 2006

Uh, oh. The three scariest words in the world for somebody who can no longer run since knee surgery are "Tag. You're it". Old buddy Bill from InstaPinch surely picked a [insert favorite naval aviator terminology for extremely slow moving target here] when he sent this one my way. [Update: I have been informed that the correct "naval aviator terminology for extremely slow moving target" is "Zeppelin". Which is appropriate, since I am a huge Jimmy Page fan] 1. I am without a doubt the most gullible person in this entire world. I will believe anything, anytime, anywhere, anyhow that anybody tells me. I am one of four people in the entire country who has spent an evening in the woods shining a flashlight into a paper sack, chanting "heeeeere, snipe, snipe, snipe". Hey, I was eleven, what can I say? But if you have a practical joke you need to try out? Call me. Anytime. Really. 2. Karl, knowing your profession, you may not want to read this one. When I was 16, I was talked into trying to sneak out of the bill at an Indian restaurant in London by two classmates. ( It's that gullibility thing again.) We all three made it out the door, but the traffic light changed and the slowest of us ( guess who that would be- I wasn't very speedy even before the knee surgery! ) was dragged back into the restaurant by the collar, face burning and terrified, until my two classmates came back and paid their share of the bill. It remains to this day the most embarrassing and never-ever-to-be-repeated experience of my life. By the way, those two classmates? One is now a college professor, and the other is a Judge. I will leave it at that. 3. Going to take a cue from Pinch on this next one. If he can 'fess up to his weight, so can I. Sorta. I am six feet tall. I spent my most of my thirties and began my forties as an extremely large person. I am not going to give you exact numbers, but when I reach the number I consider a good and reasonable and achievable goal, I will have lost very nearly one hundred pounds. I'm almost there now, but this last bit is a lot harder than the rest. I have discovered a new diet recently however. All it takes is thinking of somebody eating mayonnaise right out of the jar, and your appetite evaporates instantly. 4. I passed my motorcycle endorsement test on the first try. The other adult member of my immediate family at the time very nearly got a speeding ticket. During the test. Think I might have rubbed it in just a teensy bit? Yew betcha. 5. Nobody has seen my natural hair color since about 1985. I'm not even sure what color it might be under the L'oreal, but I'm guessing it ain't reddish-blondish-brownish anymore. Hmmm, 1985. Isn't that the same year my number one daughter was born? Coincidence? I think not. Now, the tough part. None of the people I want to tag are active bloggers!! :-(( So, I'm going to issue a challenge. I want to hear from family members, whether you want to do it in comments or whether you want me to set you up your own blog (hint, hint, Kidbrudder) or even just a post from here or InstaPinch or Chef Mojo. I'm sure we would help out our family members right, guys?? I want all of you to join in this one! (I'm still a little :-& over the idea of somebody eating mayonnaise with a spoon right from the jar.)

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Published on #Background, #Family&038;Friends, #LCHS things

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Lol, Karl, my lips are sealed forever on my partners in crime. I think they were as embarrassed as I was about the whole thing; I'm just thankful they came back to rescue their bumbling slow would-be criminal cohort.
But I know you knew both of them, lol. I've been in contact with both of them over the last couple of years, but we never brought up the check skipping.
Ah, the indiscretions of youth. I can imagine your mortification at getting nailed on that one. Man, I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out who your cohorts were in that little adventure.

I've had the opportunity on a few occasions to terrify the living crap out those who try to skip out on a check. Usually, the table's waiter, the DR manager and myself would surround the poor creature(s) and turn them into puddles of guilt-ridden sludge. It's an art, I tell ya...
Nope, never told them. You the first besides Alison. Didn't think it was wise. Anyway, Thanks to God I am still here. I'll fill you in on the whole story later as it is nothing short of a miracle that I made it back to shore. I ended up rescuing another diver on that same dive as he encountered a very strong current on the way bcak to shore.
Diet pointers? Trust me, the overstress diet is not one you want to try, lol.

The Atkins thing worked like I couldn't believe, although it's not really one you'd want to stick to for more than a few months. I've always been a carnivore, so the "eat lots of meat" part was fine; but we do have molars for a reason--you gotta eat some carbs as well. Once I got out of the habit of eating tons of carbs though, the craving for them never really came back. I just take it easy on them nowadays, but I don't really count them like I did on the strict Atkins.

The rest of it is walking and/or biking. I was doing a daily 14-15 mile route on the bike (trailriding, not road-biking) when it was nice, and now I'm walking roughly three miles per day. After it gets colder, I'm going to have to treadmill at the gym, and I absolutely despise treadmills. But I load up the old ipod, crank it up, and go. I feel awful without that daily workout now too.

And yes, December 21st does mean something. You need to start staying home in bed with the covers pulled up on that day, I think. Bet you never told the folks about nearly drowning, did you? ;-)
Okay, here goes:
1. It runs in the family, I also fell for the Snipe Hunt thing, except for me it was Gorse hunting. My Welsh mates took me (the new Yank) out Gorse hunting when I first moved the Wales. I was told a Gorse is a small goat like animal that hopped on its rear legs like a rabbit. It turns out that it is really just a briar type bush that is indiginous to Wales. But of course I was not made aware of this until they finally got me to admit that I actually saw a gorse in the bushes. Turns out the very bush that is the Gorse.
2. I came very close to drowning during a Scuba diving incident in Bermuda in which I encountered a 200 lb Tarpon. The fish and I looked each other eye ball to eye bal at which time I attempted shallow water black out due to extreme increase in respiration and heart rate as a result of the encounter with said fish. Ironically it happened on December 21st 2002. Mad will know the significance of the date.
3. I too Wrestled all through High School and was second in the San Andreas League Ca, but did not catch the Wrestling coach bug. Instead I have coached youth football for about 6 yrs.
4. I was always the skinny one in the family but now as a result of bad diet, stress, and complete and utter failure to stick with an exercise program I am right up there in the over weight category. This is a fact of my life that I intend to correct in the coming year. (By the way Mad, I could use a few pointers and the mayonaise thing is just eeewww!)
5. I took third place in a team Triathalon in 1988 riding a raleigh Technium 460 race bike. I was riding against 150 other bikers and placed 14th after my 25 mile ride. My two team members made up a little more time in the swim and the run so we placed 3rd overall. I didn't think it was to bad for my first race. In those days I was a lean mean 180lbs. I Rode 20 miles every other day and ran 5 miles and swam 2 on the opposite days. From where I stand now I don't know where I got the energy.
Thats it, Not much to brag about for 43 yrs.